Valentine's Day Beauty Advice from A Girl Who's "Guy Hot" (Most of the Time)

This Valentine's Day I'm not going to give you a round up of all the pretty red and pink cosmetics you 'should' be wearing for the holiday, because truth is, they're not the colors of love.  Instead I'm going to help you land a man or if you have one already, I'm going to help you keep him.  No, I'm not claiming myself an expert in dating, but I will give myself some credit as I know a thing or two about what men want.  So, when it comes to your beauty regimen are you "girl hot" or "guy hot?" Here are my tips on how to be "guy hot." First let's define what "girl hot" and "guy hot" actually are.  I for one, am both (like Emma Stone), but know when to play which card.  It's important to understand your audience when getting ready for any date or occasion.

• Girl Hot: dressing for the girls including, but not limited to fashion forward trends like color blocking, anything with a spike, lip color, false lashes, 'it' bags, and heels that are meant just for sitting
• Guy Hot: dressing for the guys including, but not limited to subtle enhancements, stilettos you can walk in, touchable hair, practical bags, the no-makeup-makeup look

Now, here are my rules on how to be "guy hot" for Valentine's Day.

1. Ditch you red lipstick

There's nothing a man hates more than a chick with red lipstick.  Some may think it's because they don't want it all over their faces when you make out, but that's not even it.  They don't even think that far when they see it.  It's because they immediately associate it with their grandma's, aunts, Broadway performers and circus clowns.  Red lipstick is not hot.  While I love to wear red lipstick myself, I save it for girl's night out.  For date night, opt for a moisturizing lip balm under a gloss that brings out the natural color in your lips.  Just dab the gloss in the center of your bottom lip and onto the bow of your lip with your finger so it's not goopy.  The combination will make your lips look healthy, moisturized and kissable.

2. Be real

Wear fake lashes?  Hair extensions?  Get rid of them.  There's almost nothing worse for a man than noticing (or finding out after a romp) that a woman has over accentuated one of her features.  It gives them the feeling that you're insecure.  Hey, I love my clip-in hair extensions, and wear them a ton, but I'm just letting you know what I've learned.  Take it or leave it.  If you must wear your lashes or hair extensions, own up to them in conversation and don't let him wonder.  That's just creepy.  Of course when going out with the girls, a few falsies couldn't hurt!  Bring it all on!

3. Own your scent

Wearing the latest Marc Jacobs scent isn't that impressive to a man or at least it shouldn't be.  Be very aware of what you smell like at all times whether you're wearing fragrance or not. Your natural scent is appealing and you don't even know it.  If you choose to wear a fragrance make sure it has notes of amber or vanilla, both are favorites of the male species, and spritz lightly.

Valentine's Day Dating Advice for Every Situation

Ladies, Valentine's Day is a week away and throughout my life whether I was single or taken I've always enjoyed it.  Call it a Hallmark holiday if you will, but what's wrong with celebrating a little love?  I chatted with Relationship Expert, Andrea Syrtash on behalf of Schick Quattro for Women, to get date night advice for every situation (yes, even for girls night... it's not always about the guys!).   A First Date

Don't go overboard with a fancy and involved first date. I'm a fan of happy hour because there's a defined beginning and an end to the event (with the potential for more) and the atmosphere is generally fun. A three-course-meal is too much pressure (and too much of a time commitment!) for all. Don't go too casual, though and try something like meeting at generic coffee shop one afternoon. Not sexy.

Date Night with Your Long Term BF... Fiance... Husband (whoever!)

Novelty is key! Couples tend to get into routines and go to the same corner restaurant or movie theater on date night. Experiencing new things together will help re-spark romance.

Date Night with Your Girls

Whatever you do, make sure to focus on them for the night and not on what you're missing. Date night with girlfriends will get harder and harder to schedule as time goes on, so enjoy every minute.

Man of the Moment: Justin

Ladies, I'm bring you a man all the way from China!  That's right, "Man of the Moment" just went global.  Meet Justin, a Language Learning Director who currently resides in Shanghai.  I have to thank my friend Amber of BeautyBloggingJunkie for nominating him, because like her blog, he's entertaining yet informative.  Read on – his date prep rant won't disappoint! What’s in your medicine cabinet?

My supplies are suffering at the moment due to the China relocation, but I have been a big fan of Kiehl’s shaving products, especially their camphor infused brushless shaving cream.  Their Eye Alert was a staple for me back when I worked the restaurant circuit in Boston and got few quality sleeping hours.  I’m into after-shave balms with SPF because who isn’t wearing sunscreen these days, maybe guys in Seattle, but the rest of us should.  Razors are strictly Gillette’s current Fusion Pro Glide.  My stock of Aveda’s Pure Performance grooming clay is tapped out until I can hit the Shanghai department store, so I’m surviving on American Crew’s Fiber.  St. Ives Apricot Scrub is a fantastic product.  I’m a light sleeper, so I definitely dig Valerian root or melatonin before bed in lieu of a third glass of wine.  Trader Joe’s chewable melatonin is great.  Nobody wants to look tired.

When prepping to go out on a date what are the three things you make sure you do?

Clean your apartment and I’m not talking folding your clothes and throwing them on the bed.  I mean get down and dirty.  Call me a fan of foreshadowing, but there’s nothing I hate more than getting all the way through the front door to see a disaster.  I don’t care how good she looks in the dress, if her place is a mess that speaks volumes.  Secondly, read something, listen to something, have some fresh content in your mind so that you can hold a conversation for more than five minutes.  If you go as far as David Sedaris and prepare topics on index cards I will laugh at first and then probably congratulate you.  I can’t bear people who rely on spontaneity as their only conversational tool.  Lastly, scout your spots.  Have your preferences and favorites on hand.  I’m no fan of aimless wandering unless I’m in some Parisian fantasy novel and it’s 1928.  I like plans, with people who know the territory.  I like people who know the good menu items, who know an interesting street in their old neighborhood, and who even know some bartender out there that will save a couple seats for us after a film.  Plans and preparation.  Simple.

If you could have one night with any celebrity who would it be and why?  More importantly, what would you do?

If this is a trick question and I’m supposed to choose someone from Esquire’s “Women We Love” column, I’m not falling for it.  Celebrities are people with influence and I’d rather spend a night with people who could change my way of thinking, improve my station, or connect me with something extraordinary.  This is not a beautiful people question, is it?  I’d like to have dinner with Bill Maher or Craig Ferguson and whatever interesting ladies they’re willing to bring along.  At least the conversation will be rowdy.

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?  Why?

Jolie’s got content written all over her.  She’s a working mom with political and humanitarian interests along with a husband who also has his hands in some great projects.  Acting, whatever, it’s just her trade.   I’ve said my piece on this.  They’re both very attractive women, but Aniston’s got nothing on tiger mom and her at-home United Nations of a family.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

Whole Foods or any abundance of fresh produce and cooking materials gives me a buzz.  Be it a specialty cheese/chocolate shop or a farmer’s market selling basil plants and honey.  I will stop dead in my tracks for ingredients, knives, or a sweet gas range in a shop window.

Man of the Moment: Matt

Ladies, allow me to introduce you to Matt, an advertising creative from Williamsburg, Brooklyn who also edits a website called theimpersonals that I now find myself reading daily. Chances are if you're a fan of BeautySweetSpot, you'll enjoy it too.  Until reading Matt's responses, I never really knew why men used cologne.  Read on to find out... What’s in your medicine cabinet? 

I have more Kiehl's than I know what to do with. Every Christmas, my mother gets the guys in the family massive amounts of Kiehl's product, and there’s not enough time in a year to use it all. So it kind of works like rollover minutes. Lately I’ve been giving some to the homeless guys on my way to work.

My favorite brand of the moment is Black Fleece, which is Thom Brown for Brooks Brothers. It’s the perfect collaboration - tradition meets eccentricity. There’s also this great store/brand called Grahame Fowler - fantastic stuff, all made in England of the highest quality. Any man would do well to visit those establishments, both in the west village. I also score a lot of great vintage stuff from my father who now lives in Florida for the winter, so there’s no need for things like a beautiful navy cashmere (!) coat. I just tailored it and can’t wait for the weather to change so I can strut my stuff.

When prepping to go out on a date what are the three things you make sure you do? Good cologne. A friend who works in fragrance told me that a good scent can nullify up to 4 stupid things you say on a date. Things like, “you have the nicest earlobes.”  I blast myself with about 4 sprays, which I estimate affords me 16 dumb comments (for the record, this works 63% of the time.)

If you could have one night with any celebrity who would it be and why?  More importantly, what would you do? I’m less interested in celebrities and more interested in that red head who seems to share the L train home with me everyday. She’s been the hopeful recipient of no less than 100 “Missed Connections”. Fingers crossed.

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?  Why? My main problem with hypothetical celebrity sex is I always imagine what would really happen. In my case, I would last two minutes max, then would be humiliated and slink off into the night. So I guess my answer is neither.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure? Style wise, suspenders with buttons, and vintage hats. Also, skinny jeans. My family makes fun of me incessantly for them, but I can’t give ‘em up. I think it’s because they remind of the pants I used to wear in football. Or my old wrestling singlet.

Man of the Moment: Ryan

Ladies, meet my new "Man of the Moment," Ryan from Brooklyn, NY. He's a 24 year old musician who's also into drawing, fitness and "reading from time to time" and loves a girl with a full head of curly hair, which I think is awesome.  Read on to find out more... What’s in your medicine cabinet?

Crest toothpaste, whitestrips and the most expensive non-electric toothbrush I can find.  That’s one thing I've always splurged on. Old Spice "Playmaker" deodorant and Burberry cologne (that’s been my staple for a while now, might switch it up soon though).  I've always got some kind of sauce to throw in my hair too but that switches up a lot too.

 What product can’t you live without and why?

That's gotta be the toothbrush.  I’m an avid brusher and always try to have a dope one in the cabinet, can't stand the dollar store style brushes.  We do so much everyday with our mouths, gotta keep it clean.

How would you describe your grooming habits?             

About as good as they can be.  I've always made time to keep up on my grooming, it's definitely a big part of my day to day.

Now be honest, how would a woman describe your grooming habits?             

I'm gonna stand by this one... having good hygiene is something that only I have control over, so I always find the time.  Plus, being fresh and clean just makes for a better more confident day.

When prepping to go out on a date what are the three things you make sure you do? 

All the bathroom stuff: Shower, Brush Teeth, Cologne.  Hands down.  Make sure my debit cards in my wallet (I know it's 2011 but I still like to pay).  Plan something fun... dinner and a movie bores the hell out of me, gotta keep it interesting.

If you could have one night with any celebrity who would it be and why? More importantly, what would you do? 

It would be easy for me to throw out a crush like Meagan Good and say the obvious... but if I could have one night to hang out with a celebrity it would probably be Kanye West.  I just want to pick his brain and try to absorb some of the passion he has for what he does.  I'm definitely passionate about my craft but someday I want to be as committed, to the things I believe in, as he is.

What’s the first thing you notice about a woman? 

Hair.  I love big curly hair.  It can make me look twice at someone I normally might not find attractive just cause they've got a big mess of hair going on.

When it comes to a woman’s beauty what’s your sweet spot?

Physically, it would be legs... gets me every time.  But I love a woman with a big heart, that's the most beautiful thing about a woman for me.  Someone who roots for the underdog, someone who truly cares about other people and put's others needs ahead of her own.

Undateable: The Grooming Edition

There are so many things that make a man undatable.  I'm sure you can create an indepth list, but take it from me, a girl who finally found love after being single in NYC for years.  Ladies let me tell you, it all begins with grooming. Here's my list of what makes a guy undateable from head to toe and yes, everywhere in between if you know what I mean. If the subject has a uni-brow or brows waxed to perfection he is undateable. There is no excuse for a uni-brow. If there was a woman in his life at some point, she would have helped him take care of this situation. So chances are, he looks stupid and has no clue about dating to begin with. Or maybe he actually likes it. Don't barbers normally do something about those? And Guido brows... don't get me started.  They're a strict no, no. This normally signifies that he'll always be more prim and proper than you are in every way. Undateable.

If the subject has dirty fingernails he is undateable. Dirt underneath the nails, bitten cuticles and uneven (ouch) bitten nails equals unsanitary conditions. I'm not saying all men should be lining up for weekly manicures, but the way they take care of their hands often signifies how they like to represent themselves.  And he wants to touch you?  Forget about it.

If the subject takes longer than you to get ready he is undateable. Ladies, do you really want to sit around and wait to go out while Romeo primps? Ew, no. Undateable. Shit, shower and shave.  After all, he is a man.

If the subject doesn't understand how to maintain the land down under he is undateable. You know what I'm talking about. Trim? Shave? They need to do what they have to do, but neatness is necessary. This is 2011 and you know you're keeping it up so why shouldn't he?  No one wants to get lost in the forest while trying to find the goods.

If the subject wears a "wool sweater" year long (or ever) he is undateable. Yes, they're out there... men with hairy chests, shoulders and backs. Their body surrenders to the hair and they accept it! Not OK. There is no excuse for anyone to be that hairy or close to it. Men, I'm not saying to go wax your body, but severe maintenance is necessary. Do you really think a girl wants to run her hand on your chest and get tangles in your nappy hair?

If the subject's toe nails scratch you between the sheets he is undateable. It's as simple as a toe nail clipper. Please.

So ladies, watch out for these types of men. For some you may be able to tell if they're undateable right away. Others may surprise you as you get more intimate, but hey, it's all part of the dating game.  Right?

What other grooming habits make men undateable?

Men Are Like Black and White Cookies

How many times have you over analyzed a text, conversation or relationship? Reading a message over and over, replaying the way he said "good night" or how he kissed you... sound familiar? We're guilty of it, but enough is enough. Wasting your time over analyzing men is one of the biggest mistakes we make.  Why? Because they're really not that difficult to read.

In all honesty ladies, men are like black and white cookies. If they want to see you, they'll see you.  If they want to call you, they'll call.  And if they want to commit, they will.  Plain and simple, men are black and white.

Think about the wasted energy you put into over analyzing and how you can utilize it elsewhere.  Chances are if he's not calling, making plans with you or committing, he's just not that into you.  So if you're still doing the above, don't waste another second of your time trying to make it seem like he is and you'll end up with someone who's worth your time.

Undateable: The Grooming Version

Lately I've been hooked on VHI1's Undateable.  It's so amusing that I've watched it fully once this week and since they've been showing it over and over, I have it on in the background when I'm blogging or getting ready to go out.  It lays out what makes a man undateable such as: pinkie rings, snakeskin shoes, bandannas, cell phone belt clips and types of flair that men rock (Neil Strauss calls this peacocking in his book The Game) to get attention or make them feel important.

I think being undateable goes way beyond peacocking.  It all starts with grooming.  Here's my list of what makes a guy undateable from head to toe and yes, everywhere in between if you know what I mean.

1. If the subject has a uni-brow or brows waxed to perfection he is undateable. There is no excuse for a uni-brow.  If there was a woman in his life at some point, she would have helped him take care of this situation.  So chances are, he looks stupid and  has no clue about women.  Or maybe he actually likes it.  Don't barbers normally do something about those?  Guido brows are a no, no.  This normally signifies that he'll always be more prim and proper than you are in every way.  Undateable.
2. If the subject has dirty fingernails he is undateable. Dirt underneath the nails, bitten cuticles and uneven (ouch) bitten nails equals unsanitary.   I'm not saying all men should be lining up for weekly manicures, but the way they take care of their hands often signifies how they like to represent themselves.
3. If the subject takes longer than you to get ready he is undateable. Ladies, do you really want to sit around and wait to go out while Romeo primps?  Ew, no.  Undateable.  Shit, shower and shave.  He's a man.
4. If the subject doesn't understand how to maintain the land down under he is undateable. You know what I'm talking about.  Trim?  Shave?  They need to do what they have to do, but neatness is necessary.  This is 2010 and you know you're keeping it up so why shouldn't he?  No one wants to get lost in the forest while trying to find the goods.
5. If the subject wears a "wool sweater" year long he is undateable. Yes, they're out there... men with hairy chests, shoulders and backs.  Their body surrenders to the hair and they accept it!  Not OK. There is no excuse for anyone to be that hairy or close to it.  Men, I'm not saying to go wax your body, but severe maintenance is necessary.  Do you really think a girl wants to run her hand on your chest and get tangles in your nappy hair?
6. If the subject's toe nails scratch you between the sheets he is undateable. It's as simple as a toe nail clipper.  Please.

So ladies, watch out for these types of men.  For some you may be able to tell if they're undateable right away. Others may surprise you as you get more intimate, but hey, it's all part of the dating game. Right? I'd love to hear your thoughts... what else makes a man undateable?

My New Gig, So Sex and The City

I'm excited to announce a new gig that I'm sure you'll all be just as excited about if you like reading BeautySweetSpot.  I'm going to start writing a dating and relationship column for Examiner.com as a Single Women Examiner. I can't be more thrilled to have the position as I've wanted to begin writing more about this topic and feel it's a great place!  The Examiner focuses on different cities, and I'll be focusing on dating, relationships and men in NYC.  (I have to admit, I'm a pro at the game!)

Please check out my brand new column, share it, comment and subscribe!

New iPhone Dating App

One of my favorite sites UrbanDaddy recently launched an iPhone App that your man probably already downloaded.  Even though it may be geared towards men, there's no reason you can't utilize it as well and show him you have a few tricks up your sleeves. The app is a date planner.  All you have to do is plug in a date, time, area and type of date you want and it'll provide you with a local hot spot.  It's that simple.

Lately, I've been on some pretty impressive and some get-me-the-f-out-of-here dates and would love to send an anonymous email to some men about this app so they can get a clue.  Who ever thought walking through Soho in a blizzard (mind you I was wearing stilettos) to find a lounge that he thought was "a perfect date place," yet it was filled with loud music and dancing transvestites, was a good idea?

You can download the app here, or at least encourage him to.  Hey, it may lead to a second date.

Spanx for Men... No Lie

Single ladies be aware... Spanx recently launched a line of shape wear for men that can make his beer belly temporarily disappear.  Imagine dating a guy who wore Spanx all of the time and you didn't know until it was time to get busy? However, what can be a nightmare for single ladies may be God's gift to married women.  Yes, he was fit when you married him... until he got "comfortable."  Spanx just may be the answer!

I know I may sound like a hippocrate here, because I encourage you ladies to get your Spanx on if you wish, but I just cannot handle this!

What are your thoughts about men in Spanx?